I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
