what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
