i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
