new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
