nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
