this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
