is your mom at the bar?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
