Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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