he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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