And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
