We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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