i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
