I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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