So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
