the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
BRING THE BAGELS
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
