i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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