"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
