how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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