this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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