these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
