Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
