glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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