we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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