Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
