also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
