i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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