i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My bed is full of blood and feathers
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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