Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
