Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
