dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
