i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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