Are we in a gay sports bar?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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