its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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