They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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