So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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