Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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