I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize