Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
