i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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