You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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