He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
This is my gift to your gina
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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