he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
