so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
