What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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