I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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