they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
