Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
