You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
How does it feel to date your dad?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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