Im at strip club and am horny
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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