Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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