My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
